Cricket books you should never read

The writers are subject matter experts and have had first hand experience.

1. ‘The importance of solid openers in one day cricket’ by Sunil Gavaskar. The press release of this book turned ugly because some journalists wanted to ask questions about an innings Gavaskar played in the first World Cup.

2. ‘Yorkers are the safest delivery when the opposition needs a boundary ball’ by Chetan Sharma. This one comes with a demo video. The video has received the highest number of hits from Pakistan and has been banned in India for causing serious mental anguish to the cricket fans.

3. ‘Great captains – strategies, tactics and getting someone to do the dirty job’ by Greg Chappell and Douglas Jardine. Trevor Chappell and the family of Harold Larwood have filed a suit to claim part of the book’s profits.

4. ‘Batting tips for no 11’s’ by Courtney Walsh and Danny Morrison.

5. ‘The reverse sweep is the safest shot in pressure situations’ by Mike Gatting.

6. ‘Running between wickets’ by Sourav Ganguly and Inzamam-ul-Haq.

7. ‘How to deceive batsmen with your run-up’ by David Johnson.

8. ‘Catches win matches’ by Herschelle Gibbs.

9. ‘Duckworth Lewis simplified for quick calculations’ by Mark Boucher.

10. ‘Winning is everything’ by Courtney Walsh and Gundappa Vishwanath.

11. ‘The umpire’s word is final’ by Mike Gatting. Gatting has dedicated the book to Shakoor Rana.

12. ‘Cricketers should drink within their limits’ by David Boon. This book is in the shape of a Fosters can.

13. ‘A batsman is supposed to hold the bat and not the ball’ by Steve Waugh, Graham Gooch and Mohinder Amarnath.

14. ‘How to take advantage of the new ball’ by Eknath Solkar and ML Jaisimha. This book inspired Venkatesh Prasad to take up fast bowling.

15. ‘A great debut is a sign of greater things to come’ by Bob Massie, Narendra Hirwani, Mathew Sinclair and Reginald Foster.

16. ‘How to face fast bowlers with courage and courage alone’ by Graham Yallop. This book is currently being offered free with cricket helmets.

17. ‘The art of sledging fast bowlers’ by Aamir Sohail.

18. ‘Scoring in boundaries’ by Bill Woodfull and Geoffrey Boycott.

19. ‘The art of restrictive bowling’ by Tilak Raj, Malcolm Nash and Stuart Broad.

20. ‘Batsmen should put a price on their wicket’ by Hemulal Yadav and AJ Harris. The publishers had organized a book signing event but unfortunately, these guys couldn’t make it to the event on time.

21. ‘How fast bowlers can avoid over-stepping the bowling crease’ by Zaid Mir.

22. ‘Making sure you get to your century’ by Michael Slater and Steve Waugh.

23. ‘Best practises for cricket from outside cricket’ by John Buchannan.

24. ‘Sri Lanka – a land of crafty bowlers’ by Darrell Hair. This book was released in Sri Lanka by Arjuna Ranatunga.

25. ‘How to play the Australian bowlers’ by Maninder Singh.

26. ‘An exciting cricketer makes for a witty commentator’ by Rameez Raja and Ravi Shastri. This one comes with a statutory warning – ‘The readers of this book are advised not to get carried away and actually try to listen to the writers’ commentary. This could lead to loss of hair and damage to the television.’

27. ‘How to win age-group tournaments’ – a collection of essays and research papers from the BCCI and the PCB. The forward has been written by the famous former teenager Shahid Afridi.

28. ‘Talent is the currency which matters in cricket’ by Maharaja of Vizianagram aka Vizzy. The author paid to get the book published and sent free copies to everyone.

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Is cricket ‘really’ growing as a global sport?

Is cricket ‘really’ growing as a global sport?

Different people will have different answers to this question.

An Indian cricket administrator or a commentator or anyone associated with the IPL will answer with a resounding yes. They will then embellish their argument with a stream of stats – indicating how cricket is growing.

Ask someone in the West Indies and he won’t be so sure. However, he will bear witness to the growth of other sports – the likes of basketball- and mourn that this growth has resulted in the decline of cricket in the Caribbean.

Speak to the handful of cricketers keeping the sport alive in a country like Kenya and they will ruefully talk of missed opportunities – how the sport failed to capitalize on the wave of popularity generated by the World Cup semi-final run.

The geographical distribution of the answers is actually the best indicator of whether the sport is growing globally or not. But we will come to that later.

We will first look at the stream of stats, which indicate why Indian administrators think that cricket, is growing.

These stats are about revenues, broadcast numbers and player earnings.

Cricket must surely be growing, if the Indian cricket team has the richest shirt sponsorship deal in sport, if the number of countries seeing the World Cup live is growing exponentially and if the per hour earning of an IPL superstar is more than what his English Premier League counterpart makes. ICC’s associate membership is also growing.

Surely the game is reaching more corners of the planet than it ever reached during the heydays of the British Empire.

Cricket is growing and there was absolutely no need to add a “really” to the topic.

But before we give a conclusive verdict, lets try and answer a few more questions.

How many native fans (we are not counting the Patels and the Sardarji’s spread all over the globe and others of their ilk from the test-playing nations) whose countries are not playing in the world cup watch the cricket regularly?

How often does cricket news make it to ESPN.com or CNN.com?

How many cricketers are global sports icons and endorse products globally?

How well is China doing in the sport?

How many new nations have made the breakthrough- of becoming good enough to play with the big boys- in the last 20 years? For cricket, that would mean gaining test-playing status.

The answer to all these questions is zero or none or something close to that.

The last question is the important and most telling of cricket’s underperformance.

The test playing pool remains the same. The last deserving entrant was Sri Lanka almost 30 years back. And the Lankans had been playing the sport for at least 50 years before that. Zimbabwe and Bangladesh have also joined the club but have done little to justify the membership.

Things at the associate level also have pretty much remained the same. The likes of Holland, Hong Kong, Scotland and Bermuda have been around forever. There are no new nations making the break-through even at the associate level. And that has to be considered a more robust yardstick to measure the spread of any sport.

The China question is also important. Whatever matters in the world, is taken seriously by the Chinese, including everything considered worthwhile in sport. The dragon nation takes it up with manic fervor and becomes an important player in no time. That we haven’t heard of China and cricket, beyond the “Chinaman” is proof enough that Cricket isn’t worthy enough yet.

How do the other sports perform on the same parameters?

Lets not even waste our time with the likes of football and tennis. Lets look at a sport like basketball. The field is just getting stronger. There are new powers like Turkey. Others like Argentina, Spain and Italy have also gotten better. Russia declined but these new powers took their place. Basketball also passes the China test with flying colours thanks to Yao Ming. It has global superstars like Michael Jordan and Shaquille O’Neal. India is a basketball minnow and no Indian plays in the NBA but an increasing number of fans watch the sport throughout the season.

Basketball clearly has what cricket doesn’t.

The geographic distribution of the original question starts to make sense now.

Cricket is prospering in some of the test-playing nations, giving them a rose-tinted view of how the sport is doing globally. India, Sri Lanka, England and Australia belong to this category.

Other members of this club have fallen on hard times. The West Indies have declined beyond unimaginable proportions. And no one has stepped in to take their place, making the sport weaker overall. This is tantamount to a de-globalization of the sport.

Others with promise have also withered away. Kenya looked good but their huge step forward in the 2003 World Cup was followed by a hundred small steps backwards.

The decline of these old powers and lack of suitable replacements conclusively proves that cricket isn’t growing globally. Because if cricket were a truly global sport, then it would have helped the existing powers (at least most of them) survive and nurtured new ones to powers of strength.

It’s very simple. Everything finally comes down to revenue. A global sport creates enough wealth for everyone involved to keep the sport developing across the globe. There is enough money for the global body to support the sport in fledgling nations. FIFA might be corrupt but it is financing football infrastructure and providing equipment and coaching in poor African countries (as well as in India). How many cricket pitches has the ICC built?

A global sport also has a large enough audience; spread across countries – thereby generating sufficient revenue- to support a large pool of players. It can provide decent employment to promising players from anywhere in the world. This ensures that there is enough interest in the sport and talent is not lost.

Let me illustrate this point with a few examples.

The West Indies are struggling because youngsters are taking up other sports with better money making opportunities. The lack of infrastructure is also a problem. After the arrest of Mr. Sanford, the WICB has had no money. The contracts of international players are very average. Chris Gayle can ditch the national contact and make millions in the IPL but lesser known West Indian cricketers have no such opportunities. If there were ten professional leagues like the IPL even including ones, which paid one-tenth the salaries, then many more young West Indians would have been enticed into cricket.

Look at the contrast in football.

The tiny nation of Trinidad and Tobago has no national football league but it went to the World Cup with a team made up entirely of players playing in the lower leagues in England.

Look at basketball. Everyone cannot play in the NBA. But there are enough professional leagues around the world. A promising Indian player can make a good living playing in the Russian or Spanish or even the Turkish leagues.

Thanks to FIFA, a poor child in a war torn African nation will get to play with a proper ball on a respectable pitch and get coached by a decent coach. A promising cricketer in Kenya or Namibia will not get any such chance. Sierra Leone and Liberia will produce world-class footballers. But nothing of the sort will happen in cricket.

It is not enough for fans of newer countries to be able to watch the World Cup of a particular sport. A promising player from that country should get the coaching and infrastructure to hone his skills and then find gainful employment.

In spite of the positive indicators, cricket suffers because the growth is extremely skewed. It has grown at a massive rate in India, reaching many more homes and finding talent from the remotest corners but not so much elsewhere. The IPL is a great opportunity for lesser players to make a great living but only for the ones who come from India. The cricket boards of countries like England, Pakistan and Sri Lanka have been financially strained. As the revenue is in India, the Indian board calls the shots on most matters and limits the ICC from “really” taking the game global.

One of the prime examples of India’s interests not being aligned with ICC’s globalization missive is how the BCCI single-handedly sabotaged cricket’s chances of being included in the Olympics. The BCCI did so by refusing to participate in the Asian Games. Other sports like Squash have the full support of all the federations and the top players in their efforts to join the Olympic movement. Cricket isn’t so lucky.

The Olympics can do wonders for the globalization of a sport. There will be a new audience, more people will take up the game and revenues will be generated. By missing the Olympic opportunity, cricket just made its task much more difficult.

In spite of all its riches – in terms of money, talent and a huge audience- India also needs the sport to go global. Even they will suffer if the strength of the game deteriorates. And that is bound to happen if existing test playing nations like the West Indies and New Zealand continue to decline and new countries aren’t able to rise up to that level.

There is no money in domestic cricket and – as the recent India – WI series showed- Indians don’t have time for sub standard international opposition. The BCCI needs to take the lead in growing the sport worldwide.

It could well learn from the USA and baseball. For the longest times, the sport has been limited to the US and a handful of central and South American countries like Venezuela and Puerto Rico. Major League Baseball has done a lot to nurture the game in these small and poor nations by providing scouting, training, infrastructure and a chance to play professionally.

The sport has always been popular in Japan but thanks to the MLB the sport also has a rabid following in Korea. The rise of Korea has strengthened the game globally and found a new paying audience for the sport. Korea has lots of players in the MLB and won the World Baseball Classic.

After being dropped once, the sport has made a strong comeback in the Olympics. Thanks to the Olympics the sport is finding fans all over the place. The newest nation to make a splash was the Netherlands.

The MLB is doing all of this in spite of having a large enough domestic market to support the game. And they are not done yet. They continue to take the sport further, even going to countries where hardly anyone understands the laws of the game.

A few years back, the Pittsburgh Pirates of Major League Baseball came and scouted for pitchers in India. The number of MLB fans in India would be less than a few thousand. Undeterred, the Pirates selected two promising players and took them to the US. The two have been offered professional contracts and are currently progressing through the Pirates’ farm system. If one of them manages to play at the highest level, it could spur a new wave of interest in the sport in India.

The MLB will build on this interest by getting more teams to visit India, by building infrastructure and providing coaching to promising youngsters and increasing the number of live games shown in India.

This is how cricket needs to operate. They have found an interesting format in the form of Twenty-20 and are no longer hampered by having to teach an educated audience the merits of playing a game for five days and still ending up without a result.

In the recent NBA finals in basketball, the star performers included a German and a Puerto Rican in addition to all the resident Americans. Cricket can claim to be a truly global game when the IPL finals feature a Chinese, a Kenyan and an American.

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The BCCI gets a little more marginalized in its war against the ICL

It just keeps getting better for the ICL. Immediately after making a major inroad into Bangladesh, the league has now won new friends in SriLanka. The Lankan board has agreed to allow players aligned with the rebel Indian Cricket League to compete in the country's domestic tournaments. Sri Lanka thus becomes the second country after England to do so – more will follow and the clamour for lifting the international ban will also gain a stronger voice. Additionally the ICL gains a new audience – which will create more cash flows and significantly improve the League’s financial health.

And there is more. A strong bitterness is brewing against the BCCI in New Zealand as well. Glenn Turner’s recent interview clearly echoes the sentiments of his country’s cricketing fraternity.

The key excerpts from the interview

Drifting to a different topic, how do you see the current crisis in New Zealand cricket?
Yes, with the emergence of the Indian Cricket League, we have lost some of our top players. Our provincial cricket is getting weakened and it is getting reflected in our performances in the international circuit. I think it’s time the ICL affiliated players are allowed to play international cricket.

Is the NZC putting the issue forward to the ICC?
I don’t know about that, but what I don’t like is that it’s the Indian board which is calling all the shots in the matter. If somebody’s ego and the power of the mighty dollar are put ahead of the game, cricket is bound to get a beating.

Here’s a list of ICC member countries who would be quirt relieved to see the ICL win (a victory means official recognition and an end to losing players to a rebel league) or the IPL lose (emergence of a strong rival league to seriously diminish the BCCI‘s clout in world cricket) - England, New Zealand, Sri Lanka, Pakistan and Bangladesh. That’s quite a list – The BCCI is either making a lot of enemies or losing a lot of friends. Either ways Subhash Chandra isn’t complaining.

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Is this the same guy who owns the Bangalore Royal Challengers in the IPL?

Vijay Mallaya went from one “I put my foot in my mouth’ moment to another in the inaugural season of the IPL. So much so, that a few awards were bestowed upon him. But now the ‘King of good times’ seems to have matured as a team owner.

Cheer up Royal Challengers. This calls for a few rounds of Kingfisher !!!

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A question for Mr Lalit Modi – what’s happening to all the money made from the IPL?

Dear Mr Modi

First I would like to thank you for giving us the IPL.We got to see some great cricket and also witnessed a professional franchisee format for the first time in India. It was also a good opportunity for me to write and talk a lot. As promised by you, the league also unearthed some new talent and gave the first-class players a chance to rub shoulders with the top international players. That they got some pocket –money for doing so and also managed the occasional stay in five –star hotels was an added bonus.

But there is one small IPL-related matter that I still have no clue about. It’s about all the profits that accrued from the league. If I remember right, the money was supposed to have been utilized to develop the game at the grass-roots level in the country. More than a month has now passed since the IPL got over. We have heard a lot about the proposed Champions League but I haven’t heard any announcements made about the launch of new initiatives to develop cricket. We heard about the BCCI building a world-class gym for the parliamentarians and giving 50 crores to the IOA to aid other sports in their preparation for the Olympics. But have heard absolutely nothing about cricket and about the game's development at the grass-roots level.

You are generally not averse to press conferences and mega announcements. Why are you quiet now

I tried googling but couldn’t find anything - At least not in the first 100 odd search results. It’s possible that the announcements were made in far flung small towns (the grass roots) and the newspapers in those small places don’t have online editions for Google to index. But still, the country’s 24 hour news channels should have covered the announcement. They don’t miss even a dog’s bark in this country.

So then the only explanation is that these announcements have not been made public. I am sure you (Mr Modi) have already launched multiple programs to develop the game at the grass-roots. And we will soon see lots of new stadiums, practice facilities, coaching clinics and fitness centers coming up all over the country. And as usual you don’t want to announce it to the world and get credit for developing the game. But we are a country of skeptics and always want to know where all the money went, unless we see something tangible happening.

So, for the benefit of skeptics like me who will falsely tarnish your name, I request you to kindly announce to the world where all the IPL profits are being spent. I and many others who are interested in the development of the game would be forever grateful.

Thanks

Common fan

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The Commonfan’s IPL Polls – Awarding the Icons, commentators and brand ambassadors in the IPL

I recently put up three IPL-related polls on the blog. The IPL is over, the polls are closed and its time to analyze the results.

Two points before we start

Point no 1 – I have myself abstained from voting to prevent any kind of human bias while analyzing the results.

Point no 2 – I am a trained but hopeless statistician. Still I remember enough to say with more than 95% confidence that the sample size is not statistically relevant. But how can we have large sample sizes when the popular forums refrain from popular polls. They cannot go beyond the ‘who will win the match’, ‘who will hit maximum sixes’ and ‘who will win man of the series’ type of polls. These Polls test your clairvoyance and don’t ask for your opinion. And if they do ask for opinion they don’t dare touch the gods of Indian sport. A hard nosed poll which puts the greats in the dock is pure sacrilege. Therefore I will throw the statistical relevance out of the window when I analyze the poll results

Poll 1 – Who is the worst commentator in the IPL?
Results Aamir Sohail – 37%
Ranjit Fernando – 20%
Rameez Raja – 12 %
I watch matches with the volume turned off – 12%

The overall standard of the commentary in the IPL was shambolic. Amit Verma has written a delightful piece on state of commentating in the IPL and I suggest you please read it. Krishnamachari Srikanth escapes this list as he was classified as a brand ambassador. I hope all the commentators find great jobs elsewhere and spare the poor fans.

Aamir Sohail - incorrigible

Aamir Sohail takes the cake and a word of advice for him – stay away from India. You always end up making an a** of yourself. You did it as a player (against Venkatesh Prasad in the 96 WC) and have now won the Razzies of the cricket commentating world. You will do a better job modelling for hair cream.

Ranjit Fernando’s eloquence has also been well-documented. A piece of advice for Set Max – cricket telecasts don’t need the lone representative from each participating country. Foreign fans watch the telecast to watch their cricket team and not to cheer their native son doing commentary. I would give an arm and a leg to hear Ian Chappell and Richie Benaud but would rather turn deaf when Laxman Sivaramakrishnan and Ravi Shastri come on air.

Poll 2 – Which Icon was the biggest dud in the IPL?
Results Sachin Tendulkar – 36%
Rahul Dravid – 22%
VVS Laxman for being a chicken and backing out – 22 %
Sourav Ganguly -12%
The biggest dud was the concept itself – 12%

There was a lot of criticism of the concept and the last option should have been the most preferred option. However as Shane Warne and MS Dhoni showed, there is definitely a need for iconic players in the League. But rather than the IPL committee anointing ICONS it should be left to the franchisees to decide their Icon or franchise player. Even the US Leagues have franchise players. The concept is ok but its modalities need serious tweaking.

It was a tournament to forget for the big 4 of Indian cricket. Sachin Tendulkar escaped the criticism but did little justice to his icon status in the IPL or his mega-iconic status in Indian cricket. Rahul was disowned by his owner and Laxman benched for mystifying reasons. Sourav Ganguly’s last few efforts and especially his last innings did a lot of damage control for his icon status.

The new brigade made another claim to replace the old icons. The likes of Rohit Sharma, Suresh Raina and Gautam Gambhir cannot be denied for long.

Poll 3 – Which team had the best set of brand ambassadors/mascots in the IPL?
Results KXP with Preity Zinta - 38%
DC were smartest for not wasting any money on it– 33%
KKR with Shahrukh– 16%
DD with Akshay Kumar – 11%

Based on poll results the possible line-up of brand ambassadors for next season’s IPL -Sherlyn Chopra, Mallika Sherawat, Rakhi Sawant, Pamela Anderson(for Mallya’s team as he doesn’t believe in the desi babes), Bipasha Basu, Shilpa Shetty and Deepika Padukone. Their agenda – to beat Preity Zinta at her game of hugging and kissing, no holds barred. Don’t be surprised if you see much better performances from the other teams next season.

Preity has set the bar for future brand ambassadors

Other than that nothing else will work. So if you can’t get a hot babe to be your brand ambassador and shower her love on the players, then you might as well drop the idea of having a brand representative.

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IPL Daily Dose – The Final – The day Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar did battle on a cricket field

Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar are considered to be the two greatest generals of all time. A showdown between the two of them would probably have been one of the greatest battles in history. Two great leaders well versed in tactical warfare leading well trained and highly motivated armies in the definitive face-off. While historians can only dream and envisage, cricket fans got to see the cricketing equivalent of the ultimate battle between two outstanding generals in the final of the IPL.

Like Caesar and Alexander, Warne and Dhoni were inspirational getting the best out of their troops. They led from the front, were masterly in their tactics and showed remarkable composure in the heat of battle. The performance of their men was also heroic with each man rising to the occasion and doing his bit for the cause. The result was a roller –coaster which kept swinging back and forth till the very end.

In the end every man was a hero and there were no losers. This game was a celebration of team performance and the ‘Man’ of the Match award seemed unnecessary and pointless. Yousuf Pathan threatened to become the ‘Man’ and appeared to be kissed by destiny as he continued to get life after life. Raina’s direct hit reduced him to a mere mortal.

The run-out was one of the many incidents which had the potential to become a killer blow in another game. Not in this one though. On this day the two teams were unwilling to concede defeat and kept coming back at each other with renewed vigour. Kind of like the Rocky versus Apollo Creed match-up in the first Rocky movie.


Aamir Khan in Public

A public appearance made by the actor who only considered the Oscars to be worthy of his presence. So is the IPL big enough (a matter of pride for Lalit Modi) or was it simply to give company to Mr Mukesh Ambani. The two have been seen together quite often these days.

Can someone provide information on Salman Khan’s accent?

The actor’s accent reminds me of call centre employees who work the US shift. But he couldn’t have done that as he’s from a pre-BPO age. So did he go to school and college in America? Wonder how he gets rid of the accent when he mouths Hindi-film dialogues.

An Iceman who lost his moniker

At the Twenty-20 World Cup, Joginder Sharma bowled the last over and the media made him the ‘Iceman’. The IPL cruelly exposed his limitations. Forget an Iceman encore in the final, the poor guy was not even on the field and nobody seemed to miss him.

MS Dhoni finally lost but only just

Mahi’s winning streak as captain finally comes to an end. But no need to fret over it. It took an outstanding performance from a brilliant side to beat Dhoni’s team off the last ball of the match.

Dudes of the Day – The twenty – two players who lined up for the final. Thank you for a memorable game. The only guys who remember the two semis are the players of Delhi and Mohali

Duds of the Day – The people who planned the pre match song and dance program. The songs, the dances, the costumes and the performances were completely disparate. Even the third-rate film awards have better choreographed shows.

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IPL Daily Dose – 31/05/2008 – Night out for the IPL widows and making a case for India’s McGrath

The IPL has spawned a new breed of ‘cricket widows’ in India like the football widows in England. Poor women whose husbands have no time for them once the cricketing action begins. There is some good news for these distraught wives. IPL games now get over in an hours time (the competitive action that is). That leaves enough time for the man and woman to spend with each other. It gets even better when this happens on a Saturday night. The Chennai Super Kings saved a lot of troubled marriages last night and will have the good wishes of all the cricket widows for their final clash against the Royals.

Disclaimer – This does not include wives whose men were glued to the telly for the full game. I suggest they seek professional advice.

MS Dhoni stuck to the same modus operandi which has served his team well in the last few games. He gave an extended spell to his opening bowlers and let them do their thing.

Ntini and Gony first tie a noose around the batsman’s neck and then slowly tighten it. The batsman cannot take it after a while and in his struggle to break free chokes to death. Facing off against the most explosive batting line-up in the tournament, the two hit men were at their stifling best. KXP never got going and the game was as good as over after they lost their first 6 wickets cheaply. CSK’s opening pair can now lay claim to being the best opening attack in the IPL on current form.

Making a case for MS Gony

Check Gony’s figures in the last five games.

Semis - 4-1-13-2
DC - 4-0-21-1
RR - 3-0-32-0 (in a game which saw more than 425 runs scored)
RCB - 4-1-11-2
KKR - 4-0-17-0

When was the last time you saw an Indian bowler bowl impeccable line and length ball after ball, game after game. He is the closest thing we have had to a Glenn McGrath and has delivered against the most attacking of batsmen, bowling largely with fielding restrictions. He has been better than the other Indian bowlers on view and deserves a chance in the Indian side. If the BCCI is not going to consider such outstanding performances then what was all the rhetoric about unearthing new talent and giving them a chance.

What makes MS Dhoni such a winner?

He seems to have a Midas touch. The Twenty-20 World Cup, the Tri-series in Australia, the Pakistan series and now the IPL. Can’t really put a finger on what makes him such a winner. Is he a master tactician, an inspirational leader, captain cool or simply a lucky guy? Whatever it is, let’s not bother as long as he keeps winning.

Superman edges ahead

Shane Watson now leads Shaun Marsh in the ‘Best Player of the IPL’ race. Sadly for Marsh his failure on the big stage will undo all the good work done previously. Any other contenders? I would think Yousuf Pathan is a dark horse depending on what he does in the final.

Dudes of the Day – Ntini and Gony. At least the first semi-final was interesting till about 25 overs. These guys made this one a non-contest ten overs in.

Dud of the Day – Arjun Rampal. Saw his anguished face after Marsh was dismissed. He had disappeared after taking a victory lap with SRK to celebrate KKR’s victory over DD in Kolkata. Who does he really support? Is he the president of the ‘Support the Filmy IPL owners’ Club.

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IPL Daily Dose – 30/05/2008 – IPL version of the Hare and the Tortoise and why I stopped making predictions

Remember the story about the Hare and the Tortoise. The one where the hare lost a race to the tortoise because he had no focus, no concentration, was over-confident and had no luck as well.

Now try imagining the same race with a different hare. A hare who was extremely motivated, totally focussed, had the race well planned out and could count on a little bit of luck if needed. What a one –sided washout it would be? Just like the Rajasthan –Delhi game last night, right. Absolutely!!!

The hare would have started out fast and continued to build on his lead. Similarly, Rajasthan batted well in the beginning, in the middle overs and at the end. They bowled well at the start, bowled well in the middle overs and then bowled well towards the end. As for their fielding, even guys like Sohail Tanvir were taking outstanding catches.

The number of things I was wrong about (and Iam sure so were many others)

1. Delhi had a better chance if they bowled first – doesn’t matter if you are outplayed in both innings of the game

2. Delhi’s experience could be the key in a knock-out game where there is more pressure – I am an idiot. Should have learned from the Rajasthan – Mumbai game. On a day when McGrath, Sehwag and Gambhir crumbled and Munaf and Asnodkar fired, experience was the last thing that mattered.

3. Delhi’s bowling could make the difference on a bouncy pitch - wrong again. All the Delhi quicks were taken to the cleaners. And Rajasthan’s bowlers gave a clinic on line and length.

4. The game would be decided by one great innings from one of the many power-hitters on display – this was a game which was the epitome of the word ‘collective’. RR were collectively great and DD were collectively bad. No need for individual feats.

Superman Returns

After meeting kryptonite against Mumbai, Shane Watson gave a display which would have made Superman proud. Could have won two separate MoM awards – one for batting and one for bowling.

A display which would have made the great Indian spin quartet proud

On a day when bats were flying at every delivery, Amit Mishra added to his growing reputation. Rather than cower down and start bowling defensively, he showed the full range of his arsenal. He continued to toss it up in a manner which would have made Bedi and Prasanna proud. The wicket of Pathan was a perfect example. We need to see more of this guy. He’ll do us proud in other forms of the game as well. I hope we don’t need another IPL to find his whereabouts. Are the Indian selectors watching?

A day when Sohail ‘Purple Cap’ Tanvir was the weak link in the bowling

The Rajasthan bowling was so damn good that Tanvir’s extremely decent opening spell of 2-0-16-0 was made to look bad. His economy was the worst and he was the only one who went wicket less. Don’t think Sohail will mind a repeat in the finals.

Dude of the Day – Extremely difficult to judge when you have so many heroes. So award goes to Shane Watson for doing what two heroes can do. How soon before we see him doing a dozen ads on Indian Television.

Dud of the Day –Yours truly for the 4 reasons mentioned above. And all the others who thought of at least three of the 4 reasons. I am not going to be making any predictions anytime soon.

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Cricket Se Aapko Kya Mila – Humko Cricket Se Sirf Cricket Hi Chahiye

One of the most visible ads during the IPL matches is Zapak’s “Cricket Se Aapko Kya Mila”. This one is based on the premise that we meaning the fans don’t get anything out of cricket. The cricketers seem to be getting everything and fans also deserve to get something out of the game. I know money means everything to Reliance but don’t think ‘real’ cricket fans will agree with their philosophy.

First about the ad itself. I kind of recognized most of cricketers in the spoof but couldn’t identify the guy with the sanitary napkin. Will someone in Zapak or any of the Reliance companies please tell me the name of the cricketer who endorses a sanitary napkin brand? I think it’s a tasteless joke.

Now for the message in the ad. Here’s my answer to Zapak. We watch cricket for the cricket itself. It gives us great moments of pleasure, pain and joy and that is what we crave. We marvel at the amazing skill and that is what we want to see. We need to identify with something and cricket gives us that identity. Yeh Sab Kuch Humko Cricket Se Mila.

Obviously Reliance and Zapak don’t understand all this. They always look to make money in whatever they do. This is a great philosophy and has made reliance what they are today – India’s largest business empire. But we are poor cricket fans and we will manage with whatever cricket has been offering all this while. Cricket Se Hume Sirf Cricket Hi Chahiye Aur Kuch Nahin.

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IPL Daily Dose – 29/05/2008 - Srikkanth, Arun Lal and Raj Thackeray win non-cricketing IPL awards

The league stage of the IPL is over and the knock-out games start tomorrow. Like the American leagues we will also hand out awards separately for the regular season and then for the knock-out round. In today’s daily dose we will first hand out the non-cricketing awards. Part two will have all the cricketing awards.

Award for the ‘Best Fan Attire/Apparel’ goes to the Blue Chiffon Saris worn by the female fans of the Rajasthan Royals. Forget the jerseys and the Tees; this is as truly Indian as it will ever get. And full marks for original thought. Historically the Rajputs have worn saffron to battle but blue seemed to have done the trick this time round.

Award for the ‘Most Inhospitable Team’ is jointly shared by the Kings XI Punjab and the Kolkata Knight Riders. These teams don’t even have enough accommodation for their own players. On second thoughts the award only goes to the Punjab side. They are part-owned by an hotelier for god’s sake.

Award for the ‘Most Unsporting Parent’ goes to Krishnamachari Srikanth. He disappeared into thin air the day his son made a disappointing debut in the IPL. He didn’t have the gall to make his customary post match player bashing appearance. We wanted to hear his analysis of Anirudha’s performance.

Award for the ‘Most Indigestible Comment’ goes to commentator Ranjit Fernando. On being asked to comment on the poor early form displayed by the Kings XI Punjab, he commented that the foreign players from Sri Lanka were taking a while to get settled as they were suffering from jet lag!!!. Has the island nation drifted away and become part of the American mainland?

Mr Fernando kindly stay back on the stage please. We have another award for you.

Award for the ‘Most Abused Remark’ also goes to Ranjit Fernando. Till the time I could manage to keep count he had already used “and that is the best thing about the IPL format” 23, 387, 543 times. Everything that he saw had to do with format it seems. The world was not created on the day the IPL started, Mr Fernando.

In a manner similar to the way congressman fall over each other in trying to praise Sonia Gandhi, IPL commentators were trying to out-do each other in their efforts to praise Lalit Modi. The theme was to eulogize him as the great visionary who started the IPL. The winner of the ‘Praise Lalit Modi’ suck-athon is Arun Lal. He happened to know that Lalit Modi wasn’t second to Subhash Chandra in thinking about a league like this and that Modi had dreamt of the IPL long before anyone knew. So how did Arun Lal know? Was he in bed with Mr Modi, when the IPL commissioner was dreaming about the IPL?

The Award for the ‘Best Proof that India is far ahead of the World in Gender Equality’ goes to the male cheerleaders in the IPL. Many countries now have female heads of State. But no nation has thought of semi-clad male cheer leaders. Who said there was nothing for female fans in the IPL?

Award for the ‘Worst Team Owner’ goes by a landslide margin to Dr Vijay Mallya. No time to wax eloquent about his efforts. We have more awards to hand out.

Award for the ‘Best Incentive provided by a Team Owner’ goes to Preity Zinta and the kisses handed out by her. No wonder the guys in her team are rocking. Her team also saved on spending for a brand ambassador.

Award for ‘Most Uninterested Politician’ goes to Raj Thackeray. The Mumbai team was playing a ‘Bihari Bhaiya’ in the form of Saurav Tiwary. That there was no reaction from Mr Thackeray and his cohorts is proof enough that he gave the tournament a complete miss.

Award for the ‘Biggest form of Chamchagiri’ goes to all the film stars who came out to support SRK’s Knight Riders against the Mumbai Indians. This game was played in Mumbai and these Chamchas were all decked out in gold and black against a city which has meant a world to them. They also win the Award for ‘Most Disloyal Fans’. Hope their fans turn disloyal too.

And finally the Award for ‘Best Holiday Travel package’ goes to Mr Lalit Modi. By creating various quota requirements for the teams, he ensured that there was tremendous scope for free loaders – guys who were in the sides just to make up the numbers. These guys got to travel with the players, stay in the five star hotels, practise with the game’s greats, sit in the dugouts and run on the field to celebrate. Cricket –mad people in this country will pay a fortune to get such an opportunity. Is there a better holiday package available in this country?

Thanks all of you for coming. We will be back shortly with all the cricketing awards

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IPL Daily Dose - 22/05/2008 - No cricket and rainy relief for Chennai

For once the folks in Chennai weren’t envying the rains in Delhi. Rather they were overjoyed. They have been lifted out of the grave they started digging for themselves in the game against Bangalore. We can no longer have a scenario where Delhi and Mumbai both have 16 points, making it necessary for Chennai to win both their remaining games. Chennai just have to win one game now and MS Dhoni and his boys will not have a sword hanging over their heads when they take on the Royals.

Mumbai’s Situation hasn’t changed though. Their run-rate is better than Delhi and they still need to either beat the Daredevils or win their other two games. And if it rains again in the DD-MI game, then Mumbai just need to win one of their two other games. The Indians are totally in control of their destiny.

The Rajasthan Royals are already through but their games against CSK, MI and KXP will determine the semi-final pairings. There will be no easy teams in the semis but Rajasthan know that Mumbai will have the added advantage of a raucous home crowd. It should be in their best interests to avoid them or eliminate them.

Delhi must be gutted. And to make matters worse for them the next game could be washed out as well. One point helps no one. Couldn’t we just have a bowl-out? Iam sure Dada and Viru would have preferred to take a chance and try and get 2 points rather than helplessly get knocked out of the IPL. Even a simple toss, with winner takes all would have been better. Can’t let the rain play such an important role. Surely some food for thought for Mr Lalit Modi.


Krishnamachari Srikanth was asked on Sun TV to unravel the mysteries of the Duckworth Lewis system for the benefit of the viewers

His reply – “I don’t think anyone understands the D/L system. It’s just understood by the computer which does the calculations. Even Messer’s Duckworth and Lewis who devised it don’t understand it.”

I don’t know who will be most aggrieved by this answer. Duckworth and Lewis, or the University where they devised this system as a course project, their project guide or the Sun TV fans who have to bear Srikanth. Here’s an explanation of the D/L system for Srikanth and anyone else who wants to know. And if this is not enough, I will arrange for the statistical modelling paper also.

Dudes of the Day – All the fans who turned up for the game in spite of the forecast. You truly love your cricket and your team.

Dud of the Day – Whoever is responsible for not foreseeing the possibility of rain and not planning for such an eventuality.

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IPL Daily Dose - 21/05/2008 - an eventful day and an out of fashion hairstyle

21st May 2008 will probably go down as the most eventful day in this edition of the IPL

First Mumbai lost a humdinger to Mohali by 1 run. They were coasting with 34 needed off 24 with seven wickets in hand and Sachin at the wicket to guide them home. They just had a bout of complete madness. The 2 points dropped here could be the difference between a semi final spot and an early exit in the IPL for the Mumbai side.

Then there was Mohali captain Yuvraj Singh shooting himself in the foot. His side had just won a great game and he had played a key role in it. But rather than celebrate his teams brilliant performance, he chose to berate the Mumbai crowd for being too one-sided and not showing respect for the ‘Indian players’ in the Mohali side. Grow up Yuvraj. This is exactly what home support is meant to be. If you want to be cheered for whenever you play in India, please stay away from the IPL or any other league.

What Yuvi also forgot was the fact that the semis and the final of the IPL will be played in front of the same crowd. By riling the boisterous Mumbai crowd, he has ensured his side has little support when they come back to Mumbai to play the knock-out rounds. Yuvraj needs to either learn to talk sensibly or talk like Mohd Azharuddin – so that no one can understand him.

And then to round the day off, Chennai lost a game which looked so winnable at 80 odd for 3 in 13 over that I left the stadium early to avoid the monotony of Chennai going through the motions of winning the game (and the post match traffic).

Chennai’s defeat has given new hope to both Mumbai and Delhi – two teams whose net run rate is far superior to that of the Super Kings. What that means is that Chennai must have at least one more win than each of those two sides to make the semis. It is no longer assured of a semi-final spot with 8 wins. Delhi and Mumbai could easily end up with 8 wins each; ensuring that they edge CSK for a semi-final spot.

Therefore, CSK needs to win both remaining games including a difficult one against RR to be absolutely certain of a semi –final berth. Finishing the job today would have saved all the uncertainty that surrounds the Super Kings now.


Quick Question 1

Which hairstyle is going to become unpopular in India very soon?

Ans: The striped corn rows of Robin Uthappa. People will avoid it unless they want the Robin Uthappa reference which changed from the ‘guy who won the game in England’ to the ‘guy who cost the Mumbai Indians a vital game’ or the ‘guy who ran Sachin out’

Quick Question 2

I was not surprised to see four specialist wicket-keepers in the RCB Vs CSK game. Why?

Ans: Because we could see more than 4 wicket keepers play a game very soon. Bangalore will continue to select more wicketkeepers to do the batting as their glovemen (Goswami, Boucher) are more reliable run -getters than their batsmen (Misbah-ul-haq, Virat Kohli, Bharat Chipli, Cameron White and Jacques Kallis)

Dude of the Day – could have gone for Yuvraj if not for the post game remarks. Award goes to Anil Kumble for coming back from a dropped catch and a scolding from the skipper to script a remarkable win for RCB. Second good bowling effort from Jumbo. RCB suddenly looks a good bowling unit. Ominous signs for the Mumbai Indians?

Dud of the Day – MS Dhoni. He promoted himself up the order and got out carelessly. He dismissal set the tone for the collapse. Very atypical of Mahi. His effort spares Uthappa for today.

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IPL Daily Dose - 20/05/2008 - A special prize for Shah Rukh and why the Rajasthan Royals have fans all over India

The Knight Riders have been trying to persuade the NZL cricket board to make Brendan McCullum available for the semi-finals and have been willing to pay them USD 1 million for this special arrangement. I don’t know how it fits in the cap structure but this was surely a way of showing to the world that they were quite confident of making the semis. A very typical SRK stunt. Should have been quite a boost for the side ahead of a must win game.

The King Khan’s absence from such a big game, however, showed that this show of confidence was merely a filmy stunt. He had either already written off his team’s chances or had more pressing matters to attend (like Blogging against Aamir Khan). Wonder why all the fuss about getting an all access pass when he wasn’t going to be using it? He has to have it just because Preity Zinta and Vijay Mallya have it. I would love to hear from SRK, once KKR is finally knocked out of the tournament. Arun ‘Aryabhatta’ Lal thinks the Knight Riders still have a mathematical chance to make the semis.

The Bengalis had been highly aggrieved at the booing Dada received in Jaipur. It was a good chance to give chief culprit – Shane Warne some real stick. I was expecting a jam-packed Eden. Instead I saw a stadium which had enough empty space to seat the entire film community of Mumbai. Not just the ones who turned up to support SRK in Mumbai. The Knight Riders still have a long way to go before they can garner the kind of support the likes of Mohun Bagan and East Bengal enjoy.

Now here’s a new theory which I have.

The Royals come from Rajasthan, home of the Marwari community. This business community has a fair presence in all the major cities of this country. Wouldn’t this ensure that the Rajasthan side will always a decent number of supporters wherever they play? It’s similar to Indians being found all over the world; thereby ensuring that the Indian cricket team is never short of support in any venue in the world.

Quick Question 1

Ans: Who is the spinner’s biggest nemesis in the Kolkata batting line-up?

It should have been Dada till two games back. But not any more. Introducing Debabrata ‘his captain doesn’t know his name properly’ Das. Just check with Murali and Warne.

Quick Question 2

Who does Ajit Agarkar remind me of; every time he gets tonked for a four or a six, which is quite often?

Ans: Ranadeb Bose. Poor guy. Didn’t even get a chance to field in the IPL. Was he a worse option than Agarkar?

I have one last wish before KKR wind up their league engagements.

To see Laxmi Ratan Shukla bat higher up the order. I am tired of seeing him doing a salvage job all the time.

Dude of the Day – Yousuf Pathan. Gets the wicket of Kolkata’s best batsman and plays a blinder just when Kolkata were sniffing a chance. Also for speaking in fluent Hindi rather than trying to talk in broken English. No pretensions here.

Dud of the Day – Shah Rukh Khan. You can now frame the all access pass and hang it in your office. That’s your only prize from the IPL.

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IPL Daily Dose - 19/05/2008 - A new fan club and getting cheerleaders with a winning record

RCB finally have some reason to cheer. They were competitive till the 17th over of the game. All thanks to the Daredevils middle-order which remains as solid as the dugouts in the Eden Gardens (the ones which collapsed). They also managed to win all the post match awards (most sixes, MoM), except for the one that really mattered.

There was an interesting debate on the cricinfo match commentary about the Washington Redskins Cheerleaders not being a lucky mascot for their teams historically. Someone suggested getting the girls from the Dallas Cowboys instead. Tell you what – none of those teams have won a title for ten years. If you really want winners get the girls from the New England Patriots – winners of 3 Super Bowls in the last 7 years and a team which went 16-0 in the regular season this year.

A Cricinfo staff writer thought that this was not a must-win game for the Daredevils. I cannot understand how. Can someone explain to me how Delhi can even dream of making the semis with 7 wins? Rajasthan have already won 8 and Chennai and Mohali are on 7 with 3 and 4 games left respectively. So, is the writer counting on Mumbai to lose all their remaining four games? Does the writer know something that we don’t? ( The claim was made in the preview and was also there in the first -inning bulletin. Has been removed in the post game bulletin. Iam sure there are enough readers who read the preview and will vouch for me)

Pradeep Sangwan bowled 3 overs and each over went for 14 or more. Is that the worst bowling performance in the IPL? Wonder why Tillekratne Dilshan was given only one over (1/0/3/1)

Now for a quick quiz
Question: Guess who are the founders of the Shoaib Malik Fan Club?

Ans: Pakistani commentators – Aamir Sohail and Rameez Raja.

Sample this

After DD lost to KXP in the last game

Aamir Sohail: “How could Viru bowl himself ahead of Shoaib Malik?”

Delhi had Maharoof and McGrath available and Sohail could only think of Malik. Does he remember the over Shoaib bowled against CSK?

In the RCB Vs DD pre-game show today

Rameez Raja: “Anytime you pick a one-day side, Shoaib Malik is the first name on the team”.

Really!!! Wonder why none of the franchisees were going all out to secure Malik’s services.

Dude of the Day – Farvez Maharoof. Outstanding with the ball (4/0/13/2) and took the side home with the bat. I was shocked to see Goswami getting the MoM award.

Dud of the Day – Will spare Sangwan. He’s just 17. This award is still open. I have challenged the Cricinfo staff writer’s claim that this game wasn’t a must win for the Daredevils. I will be the Dud of the day if her claim is right. Else we will have the first female Dud of the Day in the IPL.

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IPL Daily Dose – 18/05/2008 - A new super-hero and a cool team in the IPL

MI Vs DC

Sachin Tendulkar is the biggest star in Indian cricket. Every venue in this country greets him with a raucous cheer and wildly applauds every single run he scores. Usually, silence descends when his wicket falls. Today the Hyderabad crowd cheered loudly when Tendulkar was dismissed. Indian crowds have truly passed the local loyalty test. No more blind support for Indian players. This is a great sign for the future of the franchisees and the league in general.

Robin Uthappa is a very straight player. He always looks to play in the ‘V’ – behind the wicket that is. His propensity for the sweep and the late cut will cut his international career real short.

Venugopal Rao reminds me of a regular guy who became a super-hero one fine day. He’s either met ‘Jadoo’ like Krrish or been bitten by spider like Spiderman or probably hit in the head by a cricket ball to become a ‘BatsMan’. A stroke less misfit to start the tournament, he is now one of the most explosive and most consistent players in the tournament.

Quick question – Which team would you rather want to end up last in the IPL - the Chargers or the Royal Challengers?

Without a doubt it is the Royal Challengers. The Chargers keep fighting till late in the game. RCB only makes an effort to win the toss. And if that is not enough, the Royal Challengers are owned by Dr Vijay ‘cry-baby’ Mallya

CSK Vs KKR

A crucial game for both sides more so for the home side, tantalizingly poised and finally decided in the most anti-climactic manner. KKR have every reason to feel hard done by.

As per the Duckworth- Lewis rule for T-20 games, only a minimum of 5 overs are required for a result. So there is scope for greater absurdity in this tournament.

Ntini grabbed the third hat-trick of the tournament. Suddenly taking a hat-trick doesn’t seem such a difficult thing to do.

Chennai have won 7 out of 11 games and Delhi and Kolkata have won 5 out of 11. Still the southern side has an inferior net run-rate as compared to those two sides. The Super Kings have won every close game they have played and their losses have come in games where they have hardly been competitive. Is this the sign of a lucky side or a side which manages to keep its cool better in the tight games?


Dude of the Day – Dwayne Bravo. He injected new life into the Mumbai’s innings just when things seemed bleak at 96/4 in 13 overs. He then returned to stifle the likes of Gilly and Rohit Sharma contributing to their early fall. And he had three key wickets of his own. What a send-off. Andre Nel has big boots to fill.

Duds of the Day – Messer’s Duckworth and Lewis. They wouldn’t have known that their system would make a mockery of Twenty-20 games. Heck, the format didn’t exist when the system was born. But someone needs to bear the brunt for today’s disappointing end to the game.

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IPL Daily Dose – 17/05/2008 - IPL improves TV ratings in Dhaka and why bookies were missing in Jaipur

RCB Vs RR

Rahul Dravid arrived at the crease at 31/4 and stayed on till 132/9, scoring 75 runs. Therefore, he scored more than 75% of the runs scored off the bat while he was at the crease. That is a tremendous achievement by the Bangalore captain and also a sorry reminder of RCB’s batting woes in the tournament.

Abdur Razzaq’s debut was the other notable point in the game. Was this move intended to increase TV ratings for the IPL in Bangladesh? I cannot see the cricketing reason for his inclusion. Vinay Kumar had figures of 3/0/15/0 and 2/0/11/1 in the last two games and was dropped for no justifiable reason.

Misbah-ul-Haq continues to make Dr Mallya look like an idiot. The owner had apparently fired Charu Sharma for not communicating his desire to play the Pakistani to the team management. Another failure (golden duck) later the decision to keep Misbah on the bench looks like a stroke of genius.

And by the way the Royals won again as expected. Were the bookies even offering any odds for this game?

KXP Vs DD

A game of two overs - both of which brought Mohali right back into the game, just when Delhi looked like gaining the upper hand. The cardinal rule for all rain truncated games is to bowl your best bowlers first. You never know when the overs could be reduced further and the quota for each bowler gets whittled down. Sehwags logic was flawed in multiple ways.

Bringing on a part time spinner (himself) just because a regular spinner (Amit Mishra) bowled well completely ignored the fact that Mishra was the most successful spinner in the IPL and Sehwag was close to the worst of the lot. Bowling himself well before Maharoof was even introduced into the attack and before McGrath’s quota was finished was foolish bravado and nothing else.

The Daredevils now need to win all their games to keep their hopes alive. And even that might not be enough. If Mumbai win 3 of their 5 remaining games (quite possible even if they lose to DD) and Chennai beat RCB and DC (shouldn’t be too much trouble) then we could have the possibility of an 8 win team missing out on a semi-final berth. Rajasthan and Mohali should win more then 8 and qualify for sure. Net run-rates are going to be extremely important.

The game also showed that the Kings of Punjab have the most explosive and the deepest batting line-up in the tournament. All their batsmen are attacking players and collectively they offer no respite to opposition attacks. Every batsman has also played at least one important innings in this tournament so far. They didn’t flinch when they lost Shaun Marsh and Yuvraj early. Mahela’s performance was like a cold blooded assassin’s which showed that he had been suffering from lack of opportunity and not lack of ability.

Dude of the Day – Close call between Mahela and Dravid. The award goes to Dravid. This guy has been under immense pressure and answered his critics in the best possible manner. At least the ones who questioned his batting and fighting abilities.

Dud of the Day - Cannot include the entire RCB side. The villain of the day is Virender Sehwag. Forget his fifty; his decision to bowl himself will haunt him when he is watching the IPL semis on television.

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IPL Daily Dose - 16/05/2008 - The 'gaddars' of Mumbai and why India leads the world in gender equality

Sachin Tendulkar scored a duck in this game. But his post-match smile was a lot wider than the ones he’s sported after most of his tons. He couldn’t have helped it. His team had just achieved the most one-sided win in the IPL.

The Mumbai Indians now have the best net run-rate and the greatest momentum in the IPL. Chennai’s position is no longer safe and Kolkata have just gone from being biggest winners to the biggest losers in the tournament. No points for guessing what it has done for their net run-rate. The race for the semi-final spots gets more intense with every passing day.

With only 20 odd overs of cricket to talk about, we’ll utilize the space to handout two special IPL awards.

The Award for the ‘Best object/prop/accessory to show support for your team’ goes to the blue flags of the Mumbai Indians. While it’s not in the league of the giant flags and the scarves in European Football, it’s easily the best in the IPL. Actually the only thing around. Wonder why the others including SRK didn’t think of anything?

The Award for the ‘Best proof that India is far ahead of the world in gender equality’ goes to the male cheerleaders in the IPL. Many countries now have female heads of State. But no nation has thought of semi-clad male cheer leaders. Who said there was no future for male strip-tease artists?

Most disappointing moments of the night – hearing ‘Korbo Lorbo Jeetbo Re’ blaring in the stadium every time the Knight Riders had a good moment in the game. And not hearing ‘Duniya Hila Denge’ even once. Was this match really in Mumbai?

Dudes of the Day – Shaun and Sanath. One was unplayable as a bowler and the other was un-bowlable to as a batsman. If you just looked at their performances, you’d be left wondering whether the pitch was batsmen friendly or bowler friendly.

Duds of the Day – All the film stars who turned up in KKR jerseys to support the Kolkata side. And that too at home in Mumbai. Most of them were born and brought up in Mumbai and all of them are what they are because of the film city that is Mumbai. These ‘gaddars’ took ‘chamchagiri’ (for SRK) to a whole new level.

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We need more rules and rule abiders like Rajiv Shukla and Mani Shankar Aiyar

When the Indian Hockey team failed to qualify for Beijing, there was a clamour for the IHF chief - KPS Gill’s head. The Sports Minister, the honourable Mr Mani Shankar Aiyar felt the pain but refused to go against the Olympic Charter which calls for the non-interference of national governments in the running of sports bodies. So if all the sports bodies are going to run on their own, what is the need of a sports ministry?

For all his impotence, the minister could at least claim to be the only righteous and rule abiding man in the parliament. Well, at least till some time back. Now there is a parliamentarian who not only goes by the rule book but is also a man of action. We are talking of the one and only Rajiv Shukla.

Mr Shukla is a BCCI vice-president and he was recently asked about providing financial assistance to the poverty stricken family of former India U-15 captain Subhash Dixit. For the benefit of the uninformed, Dixit’s inability to provide two square meals for his family drove him to commit suicide recently.

Shukla responded by saying that the BCCI had no rule to provide financial assistance in such cases and as such his hands were tied. He added, however, that they do provide pension to former Ranji trophy players and help in treatment of terminal diseases. Well done, Mr Shukla. Unflinching under the media gaze and refusing to break rules the way a regular ‘human’ being would have done in this case.

And that’s not all. Mr Shukla is also ensuring that this country has more and more rules to obey. He has convinced the BCCI president, Mr Sharad Pawar to donate 1.5 crore rupees to build a gym for the rule makers of this country – Mr Shukla’s fellow parliamentarians. Most sportsmen in this country do not have a world class gym to work out but so what. The parliamentarians have a greater need for it as they have more flab to burn. The Gym will also ensure that the rule makers are always in fine fettle and can start making rules with renewed vigour and energy. Rules which will ensure that the likes of Aiyar and Shukla always have something to fall back on for their ineptitude.

Some of the possible new rules

1.No minister (read MS Gill) can sack long serving sports administrators like KPS Gill and Jyothikumaran. This will ensure that the likes of MS Gill cannot do what Mr Aiyar cannot.

2.The pension provided to Ranji players be cancelled and instead be given to old parliamentarians. Thus the media cannot complain about preferential treatment for some cricketers (Ranji players) and neglect of some( Subhash Dixit)

The BCCI will fund a lot of noble ventures with the money generated from the IPL. The 1.5 crores spent on the gym, however, would be the money best spent.

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IPL Daily Dose – 13/05/2008 - Dada the great fielder and why the Daredevils are similar to Roger Federer

On this day Sourav Ganguly made history. He picked the ball one handed and hit the stumps directly. But jokes aside, the Knight Riders have now defended scores of 133 and 129. In a tournament where the batsmen have done all the talking, this is an outstanding achievement.

Questions were asked of Kolkata’s ability to beat the big boys. Seems we overlooked the fact that 3 of their 4 defeats happened away from the Eden Gardens. The stadium looked every bit the cauldron that forces visiting sides to self -destruct. Kolkata have 3 more games in the cauldron and look good for 3 wins.

Delhi’s quest for their fifth win in the tournament is beginning to look like Roger Federer’s attempt to win the French Open. No matter what they try, they still end up losing. The changes - like bringing in Maharoof and Mishra have worked but victory still remains elusive.

The only thing that Delhi can do now is to juggle their batting a little. They desperately need some experience in the middle. Right now they open with their two most seasoned campaigners. One of them needs to come in at 4 and hold things together. AB de Villiers or Shikhar Dhawan can move up to open. Moving to his customary opening slot might also bring out the best of de Villiers, who has shown little of the form that made him the player of the tournament in South Africa’s domestic twenty-20 competition.


Dude of the Day – Shoaib Akhtar. Quite easily the most destructive spell in the IPL so far. Even better then the six-wicket haul of Sohail Tanvir.

Dud of the Day – The top six batsmen of the Daredevils. Made a complete hash of a paltry target. The chase was made respectable by the lower order

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