Football Books you should never read

1. ‘How to take a penalty’ by Martin Palermo. This comes with an instruction video as well.

2. ‘How to save a club from relegation’ by Ian Dowie. This has separate versions for managers and players.

3. ‘How to settle down at a new club’ by Rivaldo and Denilson. This one stands out from other books on the same topic because the co-authors cover 4 continents and various countries with different cultures.

4. ‘How to make money from the football business’ by Juan Soler, Ken Bates and all the Portsmouth owners.

5. ‘How to deal with joint ownership issues at a football club’ by George Gillett and Tom Hicks.

6. ‘How to buy footballing happiness with money’ by Roman Abramovich.

7. ‘How to promote your national league’ by the chairmen of Rangers and Celtic football clubs.

8. ‘How to behave yourself on the bench’ by Sven Goran Eriksson.

9. ‘How to avoid injuries before important tournaments’ by Santi Canizares.

10. ‘Football is a team game’  by Didier Drogba.

11. ‘How to play fantasy football with “Real” money’ by Florentino Perez.

12. ‘Playing football means more than anything else’ by Winston Bogarde.

13. ‘How footballers can become role models for kids’ by Joey Barton.

14. ‘Having super-rich owners is every football fan’s dream’ by the fans of Crystal Palace.

15. ‘How to surprise your opposition ( as well as your own team) by squad rotation’ by Claudio Ranieri and Rafa Benitez.

16. ‘New rules make football an interesting game’ by Sepp Blatter. This has a forward by Brian Glanville.

17. ‘Playing for your enemy – importance of loyalty in football derbies’ by Ronaldo and Peter Beardsley.

18. ‘How defenders can avoid scoring own-goals goals’  by Stan van den Buys.

19. ‘Honesty is the best policy in football’ by Erich Mielke. New edition has a new section from Luciano Moggi.

20. ‘Dribbling is not everything’ by Denilson.

21. ‘Goalkeepers should mark their territory’ by Rene Higuita.

22. ‘Goalkeepers have the best fashion sense in football’ by Jorge Campos.

23. ‘How to make friends with the manager’ by Jaap Stam.

24. ‘There is no place for human error in football’ by Tofik Bakhramov.

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Cricket books you should never read

The writers are subject matter experts and have had first hand experience.

1. ‘The importance of solid openers in one day cricket’ by Sunil Gavaskar. The press release of this book turned ugly because some journalists wanted to ask questions about an innings Gavaskar played in the first World Cup.

2. ‘Yorkers are the safest delivery when the opposition needs a boundary ball’ by Chetan Sharma. This one comes with a demo video. The video has received the highest number of hits from Pakistan and has been banned in India for causing serious mental anguish to the cricket fans.

3. ‘Great captains – strategies, tactics and getting someone to do the dirty job’ by Greg Chappell and Douglas Jardine. Trevor Chappell and the family of Harold Larwood have filed a suit to claim part of the book’s profits.

4. ‘Batting tips for no 11’s’ by Courtney Walsh and Danny Morrison.

5. ‘The reverse sweep is the safest shot in pressure situations’ by Mike Gatting.

6. ‘Running between wickets’ by Sourav Ganguly and Inzamam-ul-Haq.

7. ‘How to deceive batsmen with your run-up’ by David Johnson.

8. ‘Catches win matches’ by Herschelle Gibbs.

9. ‘Duckworth Lewis simplified for quick calculations’ by Mark Boucher.

10. ‘Winning is everything’ by Courtney Walsh and Gundappa Vishwanath.

11. ‘The umpire’s word is final’ by Mike Gatting. Gatting has dedicated the book to Shakoor Rana.

12. ‘Cricketers should drink within their limits’ by David Boon. This book is in the shape of a Fosters can.

13. ‘A batsman is supposed to hold the bat and not the ball’ by Steve Waugh, Graham Gooch and Mohinder Amarnath.

14. ‘How to take advantage of the new ball’ by Eknath Solkar and ML Jaisimha. This book inspired Venkatesh Prasad to take up fast bowling.

15. ‘A great debut is a sign of greater things to come’ by Bob Massie, Narendra Hirwani, Mathew Sinclair and Reginald Foster.

16. ‘How to face fast bowlers with courage and courage alone’ by Graham Yallop. This book is currently being offered free with cricket helmets.

17. ‘The art of sledging fast bowlers’ by Aamir Sohail.

18. ‘Scoring in boundaries’ by Bill Woodfull and Geoffrey Boycott.

19. ‘The art of restrictive bowling’ by Tilak Raj, Malcolm Nash and Stuart Broad.

20. ‘Batsmen should put a price on their wicket’ by Hemulal Yadav and AJ Harris. The publishers had organized a book signing event but unfortunately, these guys couldn’t make it to the event on time.

21. ‘How fast bowlers can avoid over-stepping the bowling crease’ by Zaid Mir.

22. ‘Making sure you get to your century’ by Michael Slater and Steve Waugh.

23. ‘Best practises for cricket from outside cricket’ by John Buchannan.

24. ‘Sri Lanka – a land of crafty bowlers’ by Darrell Hair. This book was released in Sri Lanka by Arjuna Ranatunga.

25. ‘How to play the Australian bowlers’ by Maninder Singh.

26. ‘An exciting cricketer makes for a witty commentator’ by Rameez Raja and Ravi Shastri. This one comes with a statutory warning – ‘The readers of this book are advised not to get carried away and actually try to listen to the writers’ commentary. This could lead to loss of hair and damage to the television.’

27. ‘How to win age-group tournaments’ – a collection of essays and research papers from the BCCI and the PCB. The forward has been written by the famous former teenager Shahid Afridi.

28. ‘Talent is the currency which matters in cricket’ by Maharaja of Vizianagram aka Vizzy. The author paid to get the book published and sent free copies to everyone.

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